Task #4

So I'm a wee bit of a Luddite and have no desire to ever make a Facebook or other such networking site page. I'm snobbish and find it abhorrent. It's like an illiterate sea of cold, despondent, idiocy that allows people to blather on about things that they don't understand or on things that are completely superfluous and do so all in unabashedly poor English and obnoxious abbreviations while having no real meaningful interaction with the outside world; like pale, sun deprived tapeworms suckling a robotic teet. Like, 4 reel, eye hate et. LOL!!!!!

(Feel free to point out anywhere I make grammatical and\or typographical errors; I realize that that's kind of what I'm asking for with that opening)

Now, that having been said, I decided to visit the facebook pages of Barack Obama and Josh Penry. There was something odious to me about signing a virtual cast for a Supreme Court judge who, one, is a stranger I don't know, and two, doesn't have any broken bones. Josh Penry's strange widow peaked baby face continues to creep me out as it always has.

So, why do I think that this horrible thing is so popular? Well, I believe that we have all installed a fear in older generations that the "technology gap" will leave them behind in some obsolete world where as they grow old no one will be around to change their colostomy bags because we will all be twittering as they set helpless in a nursing home. This coupled with the fact that the younger generations, i.e. my peers in age, are mindless, consuming fools who will gobble up anything with a shiny package that is preceded by the letter "i" in it's name. So, when companies like Coca Cola need to ensure that they will have a loyal market and be hip, they turn to where teenagers and twenty-somethings are, so the internet. When you want to be the super cool political candidate and you want that massive untapped demographic of young voters that never seems to have any high percentage of turn out, you turn to facebook to reel them in. It boils down to subversive mind control tactics to manipulate your voting and buying habits.

This is an evil, banal scourge that is hurting our language and our bodies. Where will future cyborg generations (because you know the iBody is coming in only about twenty years with high speed wifi enema and itunes storage in your left kidney) get vitamin D? There are only two natural sources of it - the sun and mushrooms, and mixing fungi with a hardwired body is a bad idea, like athlete's foot mixed with a trojan virus.

So please, I'm begging you all, walk away from social networking sites. Go out and really spend time with someone to show them that you care. Actually talk to someone to find out what they think. Monitor politicians' voting records to see what they stand for and read the text of bills to know what they actually contain. We desperately need to stop this strange social trend that's isolating people and cutting off the outside world.